Can You Divorce With Dignity?

Did you know that your children are more affected by how you divorce than the divorce itself?
You and your spouse have the opportunity to choose how you navigate through the path of separation and divorce. Through a process called Collaborative Law spouses are divorcing without incurring the negative impact of going to court. Spouses actually walk away from the process better able to communicate and work together to make certain that their children flourish after divorce.

How is this possible?

The process involves meetings where the spouses and their attorneys sit together and have conversations with the intent of resolving the issues before them and reaching an optimal resolution for the divided family unit. Three important concepts of this process include; disqualification of attorneys from going to court, full disclosure and an interest based model of negotiation. These three concepts together necessitate a paradigm shift that some attorneys are simply unable to achieve.

Why disqualify attorneys from further representing the spouses in court?

This serves two main purposes; to take threat out of the process and to cause attorneys to be more creative. The negotiation model used in litigation often includes a demand followed by the threat of going to court. It is not helpful, when working together to come up with good options and solutions, to force an option on someone. This litigation tactic leaves spouses defensive and unable to work together. By disqualifying the attorneys from participation in court, this negative trick is removed from the process.

A measure of creativity on the part of the parties and attorneys is also necessary. Hard work is spent in finding options that are satisfactory to both spouses. Attorneys who know court is an option may spend more time on negotiation tactics then finding options that are helpful to both spouses.

Why full disclosure?

It takes all of the information available to help make a good decision. Litigation attorneys excel in the legal calisthenics of the “discovery process,” the costly process of sharing information. To litigators information is power, so they pick and choose how and when to provide information to the other party.

In the collaborative process sharing all information helps in the exercise of getting a good agreement. We share as much information as possible in the first session and if a request is made for more information it is honored. If a spouse is reluctant to provide information, we have a conversation about the cost benefit of providing that information.

Why use a different negotiation model?

In this process we use an interest based negotiation model to facilitate getting an agreement. The spouses seek to understand each other’s interests and avoid the negative impact of negotiating through intimidation, deceit and tricks.

This is a process that can also include child specialists, coaches, and financial specialists. We utilize the resources that we need and that the spouses desire. Take control of the outcome of your case and consider using the collaborative model for separation and divorce.

Think about divorcing with dignity. Make certain that the new beginning starts off in the right direction.

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